Definition: Bitchin’ Sauce (nerb—noun + verb) is a bitchin’ (for lack of a better word) sauce sold at the San Diego farmers market. It comes in 3 varieties—original bitchin’ sauce, chipotle, and pesto. It’s both vegan and gluten-free. And the taste? It’s oh-em-gee out of this world! (Coming from a girl who used to turn her nose up at all things vegan. Mark my word—this bitchin’ sauce made me a believer.) Almonds give the sauce its creamy base. While lemons provide a lovely kick at the end. Its only downfall—you can’t get it in Chicago. Hence my friend Amy’s question:
Amy: Can you help me recreate a sauce?
Me: Sure [said with hesitation]. I can try.
Amy: It’s vegan.
Me: Oh never mind, vegan is way out of my league. You’ll have to ask Genesis.
Amy: I already did. She told me to ask you.
Me: Shoot. No promises though [said with confidence].
The Verdict is in on Bitchin’ Sauce
Next thing you know, we’re sitting around Amy’s kitchen table. Pinkies lifted high. A
chip cracker in hand. Palettes cleansed. Let the Bitchin’ Sauce tasting begin. Dip, taste, dip, taste, ponder. Dip, taste, pretend you know what you’re doing, write. And repeat.
100 chips later and the dip/taste sequence came to a close. We had a list of ingredients. And yes, we cheated by writing down the ingredients from the label. However, if the word “spices” had been a bit more specific, we could have saved those chips for another time. Travesty.
After the list was secured, we reconvened at Genesis’ house. Wrote up a rough recipe. And turned the VitaMix to high. A couple tweaks later. And Houston, we have Bitchin’ Sauce! Or darn close to it.
How would you eat Bitchin’ Sauce?
Eat it on a chip. Or even on a vegetable. Or stay tuned to how I’ve been eating it everyday for the past 2 weeks. San Diego peeps—how do you eat your Bitchin’ Sauce?
- Place all ingredients in a high-powdered blender (such as a VitaMix). Slowly blend for one minute. Turn the dial up to high, and continue to blend for 1-2 minutes or until smooth and creamy.
- Store in the refrigerator. Sauce may separate. Stir and it’s as good as new.
• 2 tablespoons = 1/8 cup (If you happen to have one of those laying around.)
• Although I haven’t tried it, I think a food processor will work to make this sauce.
• This sauce doesn’t last long enough in my fridge to figure out its shelf life.
• If you’re stopping through San Diego, you must give the real deal a try. It just might revolutionize your life. Word on the street—they may start shipping soon.
• If doing Whole30, coconut aminos can be substituted for bragg aminos.
Try the chipotle version!