Writing isn’t coming easily to me these days between the general anxieties of starting a new year, the political climate, my friend’s meeting and losing their baby, and Kev saying goodbye to his grandma—all held within the capsule of a month. This mighty big pill is currently lodged in my mind, leaving me with crumbs of insistent thoughts that will find no other way out except out (or swallowed). So today, even if only for myself, I need to couch the weight of these thoughts inside lofty, bittersweet black cookies and get them out.
The new year. Bittersweet. Full of so much hope and so many what-ifs. I wake up every January 1st with a pit in my stomach, wondering if I did enough. This phase of motherhood makes the pit extra big because enough looks so different than it did 3.5 years ago, pre-baby. It looks so much smaller now. And then tax season starts. And my brain doesn’t work the way tax season works, so hello anxiety.
The political climate. Or maybe the friend/family/neighbor climate? Bitter. I haven’t found the sweet yet. I’m drained by the fighting and the “you’re ignorant” hurls on Facebook. I’ve said and thought both. I’m sure you have too. But I question if any good has come from it. I hate when people make me feel stupid. I hate it. I completely disengage. And yet, I’m certain I’ve made some of the closest people to me feel that way. I’m sorry. I think there’s a third way to handle this—our differences. I haven’t landed on it yet. So in the meantime, I’m holding my tongue (as best as I can), listening (as best as I can), until I settle on something a little more productive.
But if I could say one thing—maybe I’m breaking my tongue-holding rule right now—share your experiences and listen to others. It’s impossible to know, really know, life from all angles. From the stirrups of a medical table, to the tall leather chair of an executive desk, to the wallet of food stamps. We all have something to give and something to receive. At least that’s what my pastor says to a sea of diverse people every Sunday—diverse from skin color, economic status, life experiences, and probably even beliefs. I’m beginning to think it takes more effort to receive than it does to give. Maybe there’s a pitfall in that.
My friends, Lindsay and Bjork. Bittersweet, heavy on the bitter. You can read more of their story here and here. They met and lost their sweet baby Afton within the capsule of 24 hours. How do you ever swallow that pill? We were just talking about baby boy names the week before over pizza and bibimbap bowls. About how boy names are so much harder than girl names. Light conversation, you know? And then everything turned bitter. I’m in the process of figuring out how to grieve well with people you love. I’m very good at trying to make things better. Sitting in the grief is not my natural stance. But I’m sitting and probably doing lots of things wrong, but I’m sitting.
Kev’s grandma. Bittersweet, heavier on the sweet. She lived a full and long life into her nineties. She made lemon meringue pie from scratch and kept everyone on their toes until last Friday. Her loss is significant and sudden, but the memories of her life are sweet. As you can guess, we’ve had a lot of conversations with Hal over the last month about death. She’s teaching me heaps about it through her questions. Before we left for Afton’s funeral she asked, “Why are you going to say goodbye if he’s already gone?” The proximity of death to life is so strange and impossible. In all this bittersweet-ness, I’m left with ellipses, question marks, and a full pillbox, pills that must be swallowed. Eventually.
And that leaves us with these Bittersweet Black Cookies. What you came for. They’re one part Sarah Kieffer, fives parts Rustica, one part MilkJam, and all parts Minneapolis. I started with Sarah’s chocolate cookies from her new book, added the darkest black cocoa powder as a nod to my favorite ice cream scoop from MilkJam, and adjusted the wet to dry ratio so that they’d keep their height like Rustica’s cookies. Maybe it’s because I’m short, but I prefer a little height to my cookies. They’re dark, sweet enough, a touch crispy, and plenty soft.
If you’ve made it this far, thank you and I’m sorry. Thank you for letting me get this out. And I’m sorry that this conversation is a little more one-sided than I’d like. In a perfect world, we’d be sitting at a table over coffee, with these cookies, exchanging our experiences. Because there’s just no way you can experience it all. Speaking of experiencing, if you’re not into baking or near Minneapolis, you can order these cookies from Rustica. Just be warned, they might make you move to Minneapolis. They had that effect on us. In that case, we can just schedule that coffee date.
These cookies are dark and bitter and plenty sweet. A perfect harmony if you ask me. When testing, I took them to the point of fudge, and then backed down a little. See the notes below on sourcing ingredients for this recipe.
Ingredients
Scale
1 1/4 c. brown sugar, packed
3/4 c. (12 tbsp.) unsalted butter, room temperature
1 2/3 c. bread flour
2/3 c. black cocoa powder*
3/4 tsp. baking soda
1/2 tsp. kosher salt
1 large egg, room temperature
1 tsp. pure vanilla extract
1/2 c. bittersweet chocolate chips
1/4 c. pure cane sugar
Instructions
Preheat oven to 350° and line two baking sheets with a Silpat or parchment paper. Set aside. Into a stand mixer, cream together brown sugar and butter on medium speed until pale and fluffy, stopping and scraping down the sides every so often.
Meanwhile, whisk together flour, cocoa powder, soda, and salt. Set aside.
Once the butter has been well creamed, add in the egg and extract. Mix on medium-low until incorporated, being sure to scrape down the sides of the bowl.
Stop the mixer and add in the dry ingredients. Mix on low until evenly combined, no longer. Once again, scrape down the sides of the bowl. Mix in the chocolate chips for a couple seconds until evenly distributed. Dough will be semi-dry and dense.
Into a small bowl, add the cane sugar. Using a tablespoon spring release scoop, scoop two dough balls, form into a single dough ball, and roll in sugar. Place 12 on the prepared baking sheet. Baked from 10-11 minutes. Cookies will crack once done baking but will feel a little soft to the touch. Remove from the oven and carefully place on a cooling rack. Cookies will firm up, yielding a slight crunch on the exterior with a fudgy, soft interior. Store in an airtight container for up to 4 days.
Notes
• Why Bread Flour? Purely because that’s what Rustica uses for these cookies. I think the extra gluten helps to keep the height of the cookie while offsetting the high amounts of cocoa powder. Note: I haven’t tested this recipe with all-purpose flour.
• Good cocoa powder is key in this recipe. I tested two types—Black Cocoa from King Arthur and Cacao Berry Cocoa Powder. I also use Black Cocoa in my vegan Black Ice Cream. I had planned to use it throughout all my tests but ran out midway. It’s currently out of stock on Amazon Prime, so I switched to Cacao Berry, which is noted in the ingredient list on the Rustica cookies. The flavor is brilliant, and it’s on Amazon Prime. You can still order the Black Cocoa directly from the King Arthur site if you’ve got the patience.
Prep Time:15 mins
Cook Time:10 mins
Recipe Card powered by
If you like these Bittersweet Black Cookies, you might also like:
This blog is made possible by your support (thank you), select brand partnerships, advertisements, and affiliate links to items I love and use. READ MORE >
Hi Melissa! I found your website because your mom and I are in art class together and she was talking about it! So I immediately ordered your cookbook and then came here to check out the recipes. I bought black cocoa a few months ago and hadn’t used it yet, so I was so excited to find a recipe using black cocoa! The cookies are fabulous! I love that deep, dark, Oreo flavor you get from the black cocoa. I used a small cookie/ ice cream scoop, and they baked in 11 min. Can’t wait til your cookbook arrives and I can try more of your recipes!
Hi Susan! A very belated hello! My mom has mentioned you a couple times. So so honored you brought my recipes into your kitchen. Sending a hug from Minnesota!
The recipe looks amazing. I just came across your recipe via a friend and your intro seemed like it was written for now, instead of 4 years ago. Amazing. Sad. I hope that in these four years, you’ve found some sweet to balance the bitter. We need both in life. Can’t wait to try the cookies (although I might have to Keto-fy them. 🙂
These are absolutely amazing. The Rustica cookies have been my favorite for years, so I found your site by trying to figure out the recipe. You definitely delivered. We make these almost every week at our house – thank you! Also, I can’t believe what a difference the black cocoa makes!
Just reading your post & recipe in January 2019 – I hope you’ve had a peaceful year. We LOVE Rustica cookies, my husband always gets them when he travels to Minnesota and has turned his whole department onto them, and he often gets them as gifts from co-workers. But I NEEDED this recipe so we can get our fix on demand! Thank you, they look great!
Awesome cookies! Made using AP flour and it was perfect. No need for sour cream or anything. Scooped just one ball and rolled in sugar instead of scooping two balls and putting together. All was fantastic. Rave reviews by everyone! Thanks for the great recipe.
I made these and used AP flour. The dough that resulted was very dry and crumbly and wouldn’t hold together. I quickly found a couple of recipes with similar ingredients and ratios. The thing that seemed to be missing was more liquid in the form of yoghurt or sour cream. So I added some and it worked out great!
Great post, very well written. I have loved Those Rustica cookies for a long time! I’m wondering if you know a way to make them denser like their cookies. Thanks!
This is a very beautiful post and so eloquently written. It was the cookies that called me, but I stayed for your story. Thank you for sharing and I hope time has healed if only a little. Happy Spring, Melissa!
I made these today with plain ol’ Hershey’s cocoa powder, and while I’m sure my cookies were not quite as decadent as the originals, they were melt-in-your-mouth delicious. So, if anyone else is facing my plight (need these cookies NOW, but don’t have black cocoa), just go for it 🙂
I’m brand new to you, your beautiful IG feed, and your blog, and I was so intrigued to find this exciting recipe for dark “bittersweet” cookies. I can’t wait to make them.
Your very honest post, that you so beautifully shared with us, was truly an amazing accompaniment to it. I’m hoping that time helps heal some of life’s hardships. xo Colleen
made these yesterday and they are simply amazing. i would love some more recipes using black cocoa powder now that you’ve convinced me to order a pound of it online ?
I am so happy that you shared this recipe, and so appreciative that you shared such personal stories so beautifully. My husband and I had the Rustica bittersweet chocolate cookies at our wedding reception here in Minneapolis 6 years ago, and they are super special to me. Thank you thank you!
God what a post. It’s perfect. And bittersweet. Did you see the movie “Sing Street” on Netflix? They talk about happy sad music like The Cure. Which is all I’m listening to right now.
You’ve changed my life with that Cacao Barry Cocoa Powder. Wow, that is just amazing. I made your cookies and they are awesome and then I used that cocoa powder in chocolate pudding and it was the stuff of dreams. Thanks!
This was so beautifully written Melissa! January seems to be especially hard this year, and you’ve made it a bit brighter with these gorgeous cookies. <3
It is so hard to articulate the emotions of this past month and you put it all into words so well. Life is truly bittersweet. I believe the bitter, while so so heavy and hard while you are in the middle of it, makes the sweet even sweeter. Beautiful black cocoa cookies. xo
It feels good to cry along with you, and all the bittersweet things we face every day. Thank you for your candidness. We are all in this together, and we must keep shining our light and love. These cookies look amazing, also 🙂
This is such a lovely post and so appreciated. Thank you for your wise words and this delicious cookie! Peace and blessings to you and your friends/family ?
I am anxious to make these cookies. Need to get the black cocoa first. Do you find the Cacao Barry Extra Brut is as dark as King Arthur? Thanks for always sharing amazing recipes!
Visually, the black cocoa is a darker color. The Cacao Berry is a dark amber. They both bake up the same color, though the black cocoa produces a slightly darker cookie. It’s only slight though. Flavor wise, I’m drawn to the Cacao Berry a bit more. It’s a really solid, round flavor. I think I might try using it on the Black Ice Cream recipe. I think the flavor comparison will really shine through. With all that said, I’m feeling a little partial to the Cacao Berry, but it’s such a close tie.
I love cookies, but I also love your honesty and thoughtfulness. This year has been a difficult one for me as well, not the same experiences as you but challenging none the less. I keep reminding myself of all the good in the world around us and in my own little world. Sometimes it is hard to find a bright spot but if you look hard enough you will find the sweetness. I also remind myself that change will come if we work at it, it might not get easier right away but it will eventually. Thank you for your words and for these beautiful cookies.
Your words and these cookies feel nourishing at this time when comfort is hard to find. Thank you for sharing Melissa, and I’ll be trying out these cookies as soon as I can get my hands on that black cocoa powder. xoxo
I love this post. I haven’t read much on your blog, but I love that I can hear your voice as I’m reading it.
My dad passed away when I was 16. He used to call those “pills” in life “swallowing your frogs.” Sometimes you get to choose your frogs and sometimes you’re handed frogs. As weird as the analogy is, I like it, and it has always stuck with me.
I’m excited to make these cookies – thanks for the recipe!
Thanks for writing this, and keep writing the heavy things, as much as it feels like you do it for yourself, it will help so many others as well. My first experience with death (my father-in-law, five years ago) shifted my whole life, and we were not close. Encountering death changes us.. now I’m off to make these cookies.
My heart hurts a little right now. Definitely one of the heaviest posts I’ve read over here. But its honest, and real, and what is this blog if not a place for all those things. Sending hugs your way, Melissa.
Hi just standing up close to the singular source of heat in my 55° apartment and crying as I let all the bitter and all the sweet flow through me. My winter thus far has also been a sequence of losses beyond the big political one, and I, too, have felt unbearably weighed down. I’m grateful for your words. And for your cookies. And your heart.
Very nice cookies, looking yummy.
Hi Melissa! I found your website because your mom and I are in art class together and she was talking about it! So I immediately ordered your cookbook and then came here to check out the recipes. I bought black cocoa a few months ago and hadn’t used it yet, so I was so excited to find a recipe using black cocoa! The cookies are fabulous! I love that deep, dark, Oreo flavor you get from the black cocoa. I used a small cookie/ ice cream scoop, and they baked in 11 min.
Can’t wait til your cookbook arrives and I can try more of your recipes!
Hi Susan! A very belated hello! My mom has mentioned you a couple times. So so honored you brought my recipes into your kitchen. Sending a hug from Minnesota!
Nice Cookies Recipe!
What an amazing recipe!
Thank you so much for this delightful recipe!
Hi, Melissa Cookies were made very tasty. please tell me about different Cookies. Thank you so much for doing what you do
I love this blog. Wisdom and honesty and cookies…
thanks for sharing
Nice article Niranjan
In love with these delicious and crispy cookies.
Thanks for writing this, and keep writing the heavy things, as much as it feels like you do it for yourself, it will help so many others as well.
The recipe looks amazing. I just came across your recipe via a friend and your intro seemed like it was written for now, instead of 4 years ago. Amazing. Sad. I hope that in these four years, you’ve found some sweet to balance the bitter. We need both in life. Can’t wait to try the cookies (although I might have to Keto-fy them. 🙂
Good and very yummy dish bittersweet black cookies…I will try soon
Thanks for writing this, and keep writing the heavy things,
So amazing, best substitute for Rustica’s version. I’ve made three batches in one week. Thank you.
In love with these cookies
These are absolutely amazing. The Rustica cookies have been my favorite for years, so I found your site by trying to figure out the recipe. You definitely delivered. We make these almost every week at our house – thank you! Also, I can’t believe what a difference the black cocoa makes!
Made these with black cocoa and all purpose flour. They came out so great, and were a hit. Thanks so much for sharing.
Just reading your post & recipe in January 2019 – I hope you’ve had a peaceful year. We LOVE Rustica cookies, my husband always gets them when he travels to Minnesota and has turned his whole department onto them, and he often gets them as gifts from co-workers. But I NEEDED this recipe so we can get our fix on demand! Thank you, they look great!
Awesome cookies! Made using AP flour and it was perfect. No need for sour cream or anything. Scooped just one ball and rolled in sugar instead of scooping two balls and putting together. All was fantastic. Rave reviews by everyone! Thanks for the great recipe.
Made this weekend with King Arthur Black Cocoa. Promptly thru away all previous chocolate cookies recipes in my files. Best cookies ever!
I made these and used AP flour. The dough that resulted was very dry and crumbly and wouldn’t hold together. I quickly found a couple of recipes with similar ingredients and ratios. The thing that seemed to be missing was more liquid in the form of yoghurt or sour cream. So I added some and it worked out great!
Great post, very well written. I have loved Those Rustica cookies for a long time! I’m wondering if you know a way to make them denser like their cookies. Thanks!
This recipe is super duper dense!
This is a very beautiful post and so eloquently written. It was the cookies that called me, but I stayed for your story. Thank you for sharing and I hope time has healed if only a little. Happy Spring, Melissa!
I made these today with plain ol’ Hershey’s cocoa powder, and while I’m sure my cookies were not quite as decadent as the originals, they were melt-in-your-mouth delicious. So, if anyone else is facing my plight (need these cookies NOW, but don’t have black cocoa), just go for it 🙂
I’m brand new to you, your beautiful IG feed, and your blog, and I was so intrigued to find this exciting recipe for dark “bittersweet” cookies. I can’t wait to make them.
Your very honest post, that you so beautifully shared with us, was truly an amazing accompaniment to it. I’m hoping that time helps heal some of life’s hardships. xo Colleen
made these yesterday and they are simply amazing. i would love some more recipes using black cocoa powder now that you’ve convinced me to order a pound of it online ?
I am so happy that you shared this recipe, and so appreciative that you shared such personal stories so beautifully. My husband and I had the Rustica bittersweet chocolate cookies at our wedding reception here in Minneapolis 6 years ago, and they are super special to me. Thank you thank you!
Those Rustica cookies are something special!
I love this blog. Wisdom and honesty and cookies…it feels like we’re friends.
God what a post. It’s perfect. And bittersweet. Did you see the movie “Sing Street” on Netflix? They talk about happy sad music like The Cure. Which is all I’m listening to right now.
You’ve changed my life with that Cacao Barry Cocoa Powder. Wow, that is just amazing. I made your cookies and they are awesome and then I used that cocoa powder in chocolate pudding and it was the stuff of dreams. Thanks!
This was so beautifully written Melissa! January seems to be especially hard this year, and you’ve made it a bit brighter with these gorgeous cookies. <3
It is so hard to articulate the emotions of this past month and you put it all into words so well. Life is truly bittersweet. I believe the bitter, while so so heavy and hard while you are in the middle of it, makes the sweet even sweeter. Beautiful black cocoa cookies. xo
January has felt very heavy. These cookies are just the thing. Thank you.
It feels good to cry along with you, and all the bittersweet things we face every day. Thank you for your candidness. We are all in this together, and we must keep shining our light and love. These cookies look amazing, also 🙂
Stunning clean photos!! The cookie sounds very yummy!
So well said, Melissa. I’m a longtime enjoy-er of your recipes and eye for design. Thank you for sharing.
This is such a lovely post and so appreciated. Thank you for your wise words and this delicious cookie! Peace and blessings to you and your friends/family ?
I am anxious to make these cookies. Need to get the black cocoa first. Do you find the Cacao Barry Extra Brut is as dark as King Arthur? Thanks for always sharing amazing recipes!
Visually, the black cocoa is a darker color. The Cacao Berry is a dark amber. They both bake up the same color, though the black cocoa produces a slightly darker cookie. It’s only slight though. Flavor wise, I’m drawn to the Cacao Berry a bit more. It’s a really solid, round flavor. I think I might try using it on the Black Ice Cream recipe. I think the flavor comparison will really shine through. With all that said, I’m feeling a little partial to the Cacao Berry, but it’s such a close tie.
I love cookies, but I also love your honesty and thoughtfulness. This year has been a difficult one for me as well, not the same experiences as you but challenging none the less. I keep reminding myself of all the good in the world around us and in my own little world. Sometimes it is hard to find a bright spot but if you look hard enough you will find the sweetness. I also remind myself that change will come if we work at it, it might not get easier right away but it will eventually. Thank you for your words and for these beautiful cookies.
Your words and these cookies feel nourishing at this time when comfort is hard to find. Thank you for sharing Melissa, and I’ll be trying out these cookies as soon as I can get my hands on that black cocoa powder. xoxo
I love this post. I haven’t read much on your blog, but I love that I can hear your voice as I’m reading it.
My dad passed away when I was 16. He used to call those “pills” in life “swallowing your frogs.” Sometimes you get to choose your frogs and sometimes you’re handed frogs. As weird as the analogy is, I like it, and it has always stuck with me.
I’m excited to make these cookies – thanks for the recipe!
Thanks for writing this, and keep writing the heavy things, as much as it feels like you do it for yourself, it will help so many others as well. My first experience with death (my father-in-law, five years ago) shifted my whole life, and we were not close. Encountering death changes us.. now I’m off to make these cookies.
My heart hurts a little right now. Definitely one of the heaviest posts I’ve read over here. But its honest, and real, and what is this blog if not a place for all those things. Sending hugs your way, Melissa.
I want to make these.
Hi just standing up close to the singular source of heat in my 55° apartment and crying as I let all the bitter and all the sweet flow through me. My winter thus far has also been a sequence of losses beyond the big political one, and I, too, have felt unbearably weighed down. I’m grateful for your words. And for your cookies. And your heart.