In his hurriedness to get off to work, I noticed Kev took the time to throw away my used coffee filter hanging off the side of the Chemex. Meanwhile, I sat at the dining room table, drinking the cup of coffee that filter had produced. It was a rare glimpse. I’m usually the one in the kitchen or on the floor corralling the babe. Thank you, I said. He said you’re welcome like it was no big deal, like he does it all the time. I often throw it away, he said. I paused, took another sip, and tried to remember the last time I threw it away. Thank you, I said again.
Life as a first time mom can be insular. Feedings, nap time schedules, and baby hygiene take the place of full time jobs, free time, and long showers (or showers in general). I got lost. I put my head down, blinders on, and just kept keep running. I did this for so long, when I finally lifted my head, I didn’t recognize the surroundings. I missed all the markers on the trail. I was lost.
I don’t ask for help much. I’m an open book, yet I keep to myself. If I have two hands and bootstraps, then I can very well pull myself up. That’s how I do life.
I looked that phrase up—pull yourself up by your bootstraps. I’m sitting here laughing to myself. Do you know what it actually means?It’s alluding to a task impossible for one person alone. Life, parenting, marriage, relationships, friendships—they are not meant to be run alone. I’m not sure whether to blame my personality, multiple moves, or first-time mothering. The answer is probably D, all of the above. Either way, I’ve been living life alone with a hundred people around me.
I let a low hanging fog settle in. So low I couldn’t see 10 feet past the dining room table where I was sitting. To see the man that was first my best friend, before becoming my boyfriend and now husband, throwing away that used coffee filter day after day. Doing little things in the background to make my day a little easier. I couldn’t hear him say I’m thinking about you. I love you. That fog, it was thick.
I can tell you about the fog now. I can see past it. I don’t wear glasses, but I imagine it’s a lot like putting them on for the first time and seeing clearly. You don’t realize how blurry your vision is until it’s corrected. As we enter into this season of Thanksgiving, I’m feeling awfully thankful—something I haven’t felt in awhile. I’m thankful for the little things like used coffee filters in the trash can and nutrient dense autumnal salads laced with flavor, like this one. It’s easy to be thankful for the big things. They usually hit you square in the face. But when you can see the little things, finally, life is rich.
This is a hearty fall salad laced with flavor. Allow the kale to marinate in the dressing for additional flavor. Serve as the main course or as a side. If kale scares you, substitute spinach and skip the marinate time.
Make dressing. Into a small bowl, combine all ingredients. Whisk until thickened or emulsified. Set aside. Can be made in advance and stored in the fridge.
Roast squash. Preheat oven to 425°F degrees. Place thinly sliced delicata on a baking sheet. Drizzle with olive oil and sprinkle generously with salt. Bake for 10-15 minutes per side or until golden.
Assemble the salad. Meanwhile, make the salad. To a bowl, add chopped kale. Pour dressing over and toss. Kale should be liberally coated. Allow to marinate for at least 30 minutes or up to a couple of hours. Just before serving, add squash, croutons, pepita seeds, dried cranberries, and feta. Serve.
This blog is made possible by your support (thank you), select brand partnerships, advertisements, and affiliate links to items I love and use. READ MORE >
Beautiful post, Melissa. Man, those small things can be THE BEST. I’m doing my best as a new wife to thank my husband for the little things he does. When I come home from work and he’s halfway done with cleaning up the kitchen, or the fact that he makes the bed every morning … those little things actually bring so much sunshine to my day. It’s important to be thankful. I don’t blame you ONE BIT for falling into that fog. But welcome back, lady!
Melissa, what a great post. The salad looks delish, and your insights are really well spoken to boot. My best girlfriends and I (two new mothers and one soon to be) have a blog at hearsayandhappiness.com, where we often share recipes, talk about our crazy lives and try to reflect. Check us out if you have a chance, and thanks again for baring your soul and sharing your yummy recipe.
Beautiful post Melissa. I can’t quite imagine what it takes to be a mother but you, my friend, are taking it head on. You’re an inspiration! All that you do on top of the immense love and attention you give Hallie, you’re incredible! We all lose sight of the things right in front of us from time to time. Glad to hear the fog has lifted!
Gorgeous post, as always. I love your honesty. I’m sure there are so many things that we all look past or see through, and imagine how rich we would feel if we could really see them all.
We all go through those phases of fog in our lives, and introducing a new being to encompass all of our extra time is probably the biggest upheaval our marriage went through. But it mellows. And you adapt. And it gets better than it was before.
Lovely post. The fog is so real while you’re in it, but it comes and goes over the years, I find. Strangely enough, it seems to coincide with having a newborn in the house. Hmmm… 😉 But everything has a season, even the foggy days. Just makes you enjoy the sunshine that much more.
*Such* a good post Melissa and what you say about that fog is so true – whether it’s becoming a mom, having a really busy period of work or just getting caught up in life. It’s so easy to miss the little things and to forget to be thankful for what we have.
Thank you for such vulnerability, Melissa. It’s so easy to get mired in the fog. We all do it, and it feels so good to have it clear for a moment and realize how much we have to be thankful for.
Your salad looks amazing, btw. I have 2 delicata squash on my counter right now and kale coming in our CSA share – looks like a wonderful way to use them.
So glad you have such a good man by your side, and hope the fog clears soon! I had a similar experience with my husband, and it totally brought us closer together. Hang in there! This salad looks beautiful, too!
I can’t even tell you how wonderfully written this post is. Very thought provoking and so true how we can get caught up in life, simply life. And even though we may not realize the silent love around us, it does shine through once we can see past the fog. xo
Melissa, I’m with you. First year of motherhood is a huge adjustment and add in a move or two and well — no wonder you had the fog. I am mostly over it, I think, though wisps remain from time to time. But it’s amazing to finally feel a bit clear, right? Here’s to fall, and thankfulness, this delicious-looking salad — and to you.
Your dish is absolutely delicious and attractive! Do you think that tofu can be a great and healthy substitute of feta for this recipe?
Beautiful post, Melissa. Man, those small things can be THE BEST. I’m doing my best as a new wife to thank my husband for the little things he does. When I come home from work and he’s halfway done with cleaning up the kitchen, or the fact that he makes the bed every morning … those little things actually bring so much sunshine to my day. It’s important to be thankful. I don’t blame you ONE BIT for falling into that fog. But welcome back, lady!
Melissa, what a great post. The salad looks delish, and your insights are really well spoken to boot. My best girlfriends and I (two new mothers and one soon to be) have a blog at hearsayandhappiness.com, where we often share recipes, talk about our crazy lives and try to reflect. Check us out if you have a chance, and thanks again for baring your soul and sharing your yummy recipe.
Melissa, you may see yourself as a designer first but I have to say, you are a wonderful writer too.
Beautiful post Melissa. I can’t quite imagine what it takes to be a mother but you, my friend, are taking it head on. You’re an inspiration! All that you do on top of the immense love and attention you give Hallie, you’re incredible! We all lose sight of the things right in front of us from time to time. Glad to hear the fog has lifted!
such a lovely post. and what an incredible salad 🙂
Gorgeous post, as always. I love your honesty. I’m sure there are so many things that we all look past or see through, and imagine how rich we would feel if we could really see them all.
such a honest post..we do really take small things for granted.
We all go through those phases of fog in our lives, and introducing a new being to encompass all of our extra time is probably the biggest upheaval our marriage went through. But it mellows. And you adapt. And it gets better than it was before.
This is beautifully written and wonderfully honest. And, that dressing.
This is gorgeous Melissa! I’ve never tried that kind of squash before (gasp), so it’s on my list this fall!
Lovely post. The fog is so real while you’re in it, but it comes and goes over the years, I find. Strangely enough, it seems to coincide with having a newborn in the house. Hmmm… 😉 But everything has a season, even the foggy days. Just makes you enjoy the sunshine that much more.
I got a little choked up reading this, I relate so much to the feeling of that fog. Thank you for sharing. And the salad, beautiful!
Such a beautiful post! Also, this salad sounds absolutely amazing. I love the use of pumpkin puree in the dressing.
Very well said Melissa. I find so much inspiration in your writing and your lovely photos and recipes. Thank you!
*Such* a good post Melissa and what you say about that fog is so true – whether it’s becoming a mom, having a really busy period of work or just getting caught up in life. It’s so easy to miss the little things and to forget to be thankful for what we have.
Yum! Delicata squash–my favorite! Your post was so thoughtful and lovely. Thanks for sharing with us.
Thank you for such vulnerability, Melissa. It’s so easy to get mired in the fog. We all do it, and it feels so good to have it clear for a moment and realize how much we have to be thankful for.
Your salad looks amazing, btw. I have 2 delicata squash on my counter right now and kale coming in our CSA share – looks like a wonderful way to use them.
So glad you have such a good man by your side, and hope the fog clears soon! I had a similar experience with my husband, and it totally brought us closer together. Hang in there! This salad looks beautiful, too!
I can’t even tell you how wonderfully written this post is. Very thought provoking and so true how we can get caught up in life, simply life. And even though we may not realize the silent love around us, it does shine through once we can see past the fog. xo
Beautiful salad. Beautiful post. Thanks for your life-honesty, Melissa. xo
Melissa, I’m with you. First year of motherhood is a huge adjustment and add in a move or two and well — no wonder you had the fog. I am mostly over it, I think, though wisps remain from time to time. But it’s amazing to finally feel a bit clear, right? Here’s to fall, and thankfulness, this delicious-looking salad — and to you.