The recent events and happenings of life have left me recipeless but not wordless. I had to get this out. I think it’s just as important, or more, as a good recipe.
We watch the news and shudder, once again. Our bellies tighten and we hope that the breaking news won’t be followed by more breaking news. We hope it’s an accident—an insignificant accident with no casualties and only minor injuries, if that. We hope, until more breaking news flashes across our screens. The scene is grim, in fact, horrific. It’s not an accident but premeditated—by a person, not a malfunctioning machine. It’s significant. Our mind quickly files through the catalog of friends and family we know in the area. We account for our people. And then comes the anger, the questions, the tears and the like. We hold our people tighter, thankful that it wasn’t us. This time. We seek answers. We try to explain to our children what happened. Or like me, we question why we’ve brought kids into the world. This isn’t the world I want to give them. We seek solutions. What went wrong this time? What can we do to prevent it next time? What laws can we pass in the meantime? All good questions. All appropriate questions.
But if we’re honest with ourselves, there won’t always be good answers to our questions. There won’t always be good solutions to our problems. We can’t pass enough laws to keep the evil away. Evil—it’s all around us. It’s in you. It’s in me. When we lose our temper. When we hold a grudge against our neighbor. When we hate. No, I’ve never had plans to kill a person much less a large group of people, nor do I think that thought will ever cross my mind. But evil is in me too. When we let it go unchecked. What happens? That’s the question I’m asking myself now.
My husband is several weeks away from becoming a child psychologist. He knows a lot about mental health. Far more than I can claim to know. From time to time, he screens children for suicide and their immediate threat to others. Children. It doesn’t seem fair. How could their innocent minds think these things? It’s safe to say, it’s not fair. The world as we know it is not fair.
While we were dating, I watched the movie The Sixth Sense by M. Night Shyamalan. It was a movie so beautifully done, with parallels and twists that only an artist could create. But the opening scene of the movie haunted me. And in some ways, still does to this day. Dr. Malcolm Crowe, played by Bruce Willis, a child psychologist, is shot dead by a former client. A client, most likely, with mental issues. Peering into my future at the time, I hoped this wouldn’t be our story. Irrational or not, I was in some ways afraid to marry him for fear of losing him. Losing him like Anna Crowe lost her husband in The Sixth Sense.
Evil. It’s all around us. It’s not fair when and how it chooses to exert itself, and it appears when we least expect—whether provoked by a mental illness or not. It’s hard to fathom the “or not” part. Maybe I should have left that clause out. But I think there’s something there. It’s in you, and it’s in me. When we lose our temper. When we hold a grudge against our neighbor. When we hate. When we let it go unchecked. What happens?
I don’t have a good answer to all these questions. But one thing I know—we have to keep moving. Fighting the fear and hate it leaves in its wake, making sure it doesn’t leave us paralyzed. And somehow find a way to move forward with love in our bellies. My favorite president, Kid President, says, “If it doesn’t make the world better, don’t do it.” I think he’s on to something. We can’t foresee what’s ahead of us. But we can choose to make the world better in this moment. Good. It’s in you, and it’s in me. What happens when use it like mad?
Boston, my prayers are with you and all of those that will forever look over their shoulder.
On a lighter note—Milkshakes and Malts cookbook giveaway ends tonight (4/17). Get it while you can! If you’re missing the food talk, I’m over at Mint today sharing some mighty good avocado crema.
Well scribed indeed. If you decide to run for office, count on my vote. 😉
very beautiful. Since the tragedy in Boston – i keep telling “good outweighs bad”
Ugh, I know what you mean Melissa. It’s hard sometimes to think about what it means to bring a child into a world that can be so horribly sad and full of pain. I keep trying to remind myself that on Monday (and with any event like this) we saw one terrible, terrible act of evil, but it was also surrounded by hundreds, even thousands, of acts of love and caring. And while those good acts don’t do anything to cancel out how scary and bad the evil is, they are just as real, and we need to remember that when we are thinking about the how much goodness or badness there is in the world. It’s scary that we all contain evil, but it’s true. It’s also true that we all contain profound goodness and love, and we have the opportunity to choose between the two many times a day. It’s obvious that you’re choosing love, and that’s an inspiration.
Well said! So many acts of kindness followed the horrific acts in Boston. We shouldn’t forget that when we are feeling the overwhelming sadness that comes from events like these. Thanks to all the people who did so many good, selfless things that day and everyday!
I love kid president! So inspirational. And well said. We all do evil things, even to ones we love but justify it “not being evil as ____”. BUT there is so much goodness in this world. And goodness wins. 🙂
thanks so much for writing this. it feels so raw when it happens to your city that you once thought was free from evil. but it’s a nice reminder to look for the good in these sad moments.
Thank you for this, Melissa. I love these thoughts and how you’ve inspired us to press on into good, in the midst of some dark times. Thanks for being a light!
Beautifully written. Thank you for sharing!
Melissa, I feel you – it all seems so senseless.
I think you might be interested in reading: The Better Angels of Our Nature: Why Violence Has Declined by Steven Pinker. It’s such an insightful read on how we actually live in a much less violent time compared to history, government role and relation to violence, etc.
I think media plays a big role in our world today – not in a good way. Big hug to you and the little one.
All I have to say to this is YES.
Beautifully said Mel, thanks for sharing!
This was beautifully written. Thank you. 🙂
Sending love your way, Melissa. The “or not” part really gets to me, too. I basically refuse to watch the news on television because it just seems like horrific, sensationalized clips on repeat and I worry that it glamorizes these events to mentally ill or yes, evil, people out there. I always try to remind myself that there are more good people, like you and Kevin, than malevolent. Kevin’s job is going to be really tough but I’m glad he’s doing his best to help those who are troubled.
Thank you for this Melissa. There is so much in the world that I can’t even comprehend, let alone find an answer for.
Thank you for this post. It’s been hard for me to write or blog anything the last few days, and I think your post put so beautifully into words what most of us are thinking and feeling.
Beautiful, Melissa.
Melissa, this is beautiful and thoughtfully written and I can sympathize with your thoughts. It’s overwhelming when you start asking all the questions, trying to make sense of these horrible situations.
Letting the good reign over the bad and spreading it like wildfire is the only thing I feel we can do. “What happens when we use it like mad” – we make a difference. And that’s what we should all be focused on doing.