Kev's Kale Protein Smoothie from the faux martha

Unlike me, Kev can keep 8 plates spinning at the same time. I’m best with one, maybe two. Unlike me, Kev works out in the mornings in order to fall asleep at night. I can fall asleep anytime, no matter my activity level. And unlike me, Kev prefers to drink his breakfast. I like to chew mine and linger with Savannah and Hoda and Craig and Al. But if I could spin more plates or figure out how to wake up early to work out, I think I’d drink my breakfast too, as long as it tasted like Kev’s Kale Protein Smoothie.

Kev's Kale Protein Smoothie chocolate or vanilla from the faux martha

Kev’s been making protein smoothies after his morning workouts for years. And anytime you make something on repeat, you become quite good at it, so good everyone tries to steal a slurp or two, even a smoothie with kale, even a smoothie with 38 grams of protein, you know, because muscles. This smoothie is so good he could open up a shop with it. So good, I begged him to write down and let me share it. So good, we go through all the trouble to prep kale at the start of the week to make it. 

kale smoothie

Let’s talk protein for a second. Most of those 38 grams come from plant proteins, like peas, legumes, seeds, and kale. Plants! And a couple other of those grams come from animal sources, like yogurt and collagen, which you could omit for a 100% plant based smoothie. (PS: If whey protein leaves you feeling bloated and gassy, try a plant protein. I’ve linked to Kev’s favorite below. He’s tried them all.) 


I’m not one for counting nutrition facts, because numbers make my head spin, but Kev said it’s important you know that in addition to the 38 grams of protein, there are only 13 grams of sugar with the bulk of those grams coming from fruit—the banana and the date—that gets slurped up by your body post-workout. And then he lost me when he started talking about metabolic state and fruit and carbs. In layman’s terms, your body eats up that kind of sugar when you’re in that kind of post-workout state instead of storing it as fat. Just gimme the smoothie already.

Kev's Kale vegan Protein Smoothie from the faux martha

Oh, and depending on your hankering or the time of day or the contents of your pantry, you can take this Kale Protein Smoothie the vanilla or chocolate route. You choose. Cheers!

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Kev's Kale vegan Protein Smoothie from the faux martha

Kev’s Kale Protein Smoothie

  • Total Time: 5 min.
  • Yield: 1 large (22 oz.) smoothie 1x


Kev’s Kale Protein Smoothie is one of the best protein smoothies to hit my mouth. It’s packed with (mostly) plant protein (38g), low on sugar (13g), and surprisingly filling. Perfect as a single serving breakfast or an afternoon snack for 2. See below for a chocolate variation.



Chocolate variation


  1. Add all ingredients into a high powered blender in the order listed, beginning with the milk and ending with the ice.
  2. Blend on medium-high until the ice is thoroughly broken down, then blend on high until the smooth, about 1 minute total. The smoothie is the perfect consistency when it burps at the end of the blend. See notes of more troubleshooting. Serve.


• How do you know when you have the perfect smoothie consistency? It burps at the end of the blend. If your smoothie is bubbly on the surface, add more ice to thicken. Too thick to blend? Add more milk. Note: Different shapes and sizes of ice will blend to create different consistencies. Adjust as needed. However, adding more ice at the end of the blend can create a watered-down, overly icy smoothie. Take notes and adjust next time.

• Here’s our favorite compostable smoothie straws.

• To make vegan, omit or swap the yogurt with a dairy-free option and omit the collagen.

• For additional protein, swap plain yogurt for Greek yogurt. Greek yogurt is strained yogurt, therefore more concentrated in protein and texture. It’s also lower in sugar and carbs and whey, but who’s counting? Kev is.

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