Well this looks different, huh? Night lights. Chiaroscuro. A rare photo of me and Kev. I’m excited to be a part of ‘A Night In’, hosted by two of my favorites, Yellow Brick Home and Chris Loves Julia, and sponsored by Rejuvenation. (Thanks for having me!) They’ve invited a flurry of bloggers to share their nighttime ritual—like what happens after that beloved natural light disappears. Mine comes with a story and a solicitation. Help.
We’ve always been really good at working. While working on his doctorate, sitting in long classes, writing even longer papers, and collecting practicum hours by daylight, Kev taught online classes by night. Two years into his full time job, and he’s still teaching those same classes after dusk. And until January of this year, I’ve held the tagline “designer by day, baker/blogger by night”. It was a literal tagline. We’ve always been good at working—all day and into the night.
Eight months after dropping half of my tagline, I’ve decided being good at working a lot isn’t all that life-giving, especially with a two-year-old. So I write in the mornings when I’m at my best. I shoot in the late morning/early afternoon when the light is at its best. And I sign-off for the day after Hal wakes up from her afternoon nap. But after we put her to bed at night, I’m just not sure what to do with myself.
I should clean the kitchen, but the morning sounds better. I should finish up work since it’s just a room over, but I told myself to sign-off. I should workout, but I’ve already consumed a glass of wine. Maybe I’ll pour a little more. I should read a book, but I’ll probably fall asleep within two minutes. I should, but…
We’re slowly hacking away at the master bedroom, a room I told our builder we’d only just sleep in. “So don’t give the room too much thought,” I said. But that’s where I keep finding myself come nightfall. I turn on the wall sconce. It feels like a hotel room where there’s nothing else to do except turn on the wall sconce and slip in bed. So I tuck the linen pillow sham behind my sleeping pillow to prop myself up and slip in. In my hand is a glass of wine and a recharged iPad. There’s the Hulu app and 21 unwatched episodes of ‘The Good Wife’ that will last me months. Maybe I do know what to do with myself.
But there’s something in my gut saying do something else. Maybe that’s the old me talking—the one who defined productivity by never stopping. Or maybe there’s some validity to the tug? So, I need your help. Do you have a nighttime ritual? Is it productive or meaningful or absent minded? Do you play games or read or sit out on the porch? Help.
About the Master bedroom
We’re almost done designing our room. I’ll share it in the daylight soon. Of course, I’m stuck on what to hang on the wall. That part always feels too permanent to me. This is also the first room I’ve wanted to hang curtains in. The rest of the house is curtain-less, so I’m not sure how to proceed there. Either way, it’s become one of my favorite rooms in the house. Sources: Duvet + Shams | Sheets | Striped Pillow | Wall Sconce | Bed Frame | Side table (similar) | Rug | Chair | Floor Lamp | Mattress
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‘A Night In’ Bloggers
- Julia & Chris Marcum, Chris Loves Julia
- Kim & Scott Vargo, Yellow Brick Home
- Dana Miller, House Tweaking
- Gwen Hefner, The Makerista
- Nicole Balch, Making It Lovely
- Brittany Cramer, BrittanyMakes
No shame in going to sleep. Do you need a lot? I’m so much better with at least 8 hours at night, and the earlier I get to sleep means I can wake up earlier.. and my boys are up around 6:30, so any extra minutes before that is good.
Goodness how I can relate to “the tug.”
Recently during these beautiful MN summer evenings, after my almost-three-year-old is tucked in, I slip out for a walk along the Mississippi. Just a gentle stroll to let my thoughts wander and my heart expand. It’s become a great ritual to close the day, cultivate some gratitude, and get some fresh air. Once I’m back home, though, I really do enjoy my Netflix and couch time with my hubby.
I wake up at 5:30 every morning to have quiet and work-out before my son and husband are up – then it’s making breakfasts and lunches and cleaning up pee and keeping my cool during tantrums… and that’s all before I leave for my day at work.
We work hard and we deserve rest, so I’ve (almost) let go of my guilt over my Netflix time. Because truthfully, it feels good to just sink into an hour of no expectations and no decision-making.
My only suggestion is to cultivate a ritual that feels nourishing to you. If this season of life leads you to a little “tune-out” time each night, I say indulge without the hang-ups. <3
I love that suggestion—cultivating a ritual that feels nourishing. Sarah mentioned a change of scenery too. It think there’s something in that too. The mighty Mississippi is long but it would be fun to bump into you! The path right by our house is just about to open up from 2 years on construction. I think I might just try on your ritual. Thanks for writing! So good to hear from you. Can you believe our kids are almost 3?!
This sounds like a great ritual to me. I get so tired from work and making dinner and being mom and generally running all day from dark to dark again. I hang out and watch tv in sweatpants and hug my dogs and zone out. I kind of bunch the clutter up and leave it til the morning. When everyone else leaves the house I run around in a burst of morning energy cleaning and washing and I take the dogs out. Then I have a short nap before work. Don’t feel bad about downtime spent doing nothing productive. Life isn’t always about packing busy work into every possible second.
Thanks for this encouragement and affirmation ❤️. Amen.
My first visit to your blog (I hopped over from CLJ) and the first image, I thought ‘that’s me’. I have a young toddler and left being a f/t working mom for a SAHWM life a few months ago and can completely relate to your sentiments. One month in, I completely redid our long-neglected master bedroom and now it’s my oasis. I put my toddler to bed, race through chores, take a bath and am in bed as soon as possible, soft lights on. Being in my home all of the time now instead of just a few hours a day, I find I need the separation from the ‘living spaces’ to my own space. I’m looking forward to keep reading.
Love CLJ. Thanks for popping over and saying hey! Oh my gosh, that’s totally it—a change of scenery come night time (when you’ve been at home all day) is the game changer. Sounds so simple but this is a major light bulb moment.
I feel that same tug at night, but if I’m nonstop in the evening hours, I won’t be at my best in the daytime to give what’s needed for raising children and running a home.
In the same note, mama needs some creative time, am I right? So when the weather is cooler, I try to sneak outside once the kids are in bed to practice my woodworking skills but it’s too hot for that this time of year.
Whatever time of year it is, though, I really prioritize spending some time with my husband. Raising four kids can leave little time for us so we’ve always cherished spending time together after bedtime, even if it’s just lounging on the sofa, feeling defeated from the days struggles.
Amen to creative time. Thanks for writing and validating and encouraging!
If you work all day, and take care of sweet Hal, you deserve all the sitting in bed with that sconce and just being. (I’m talking to myself, too.) Thanks so much for participating in A Night In! I love your home–day and night!
Thanks for hosting and letting me be a part of this. LOVE LOVE LOVE this series.
I think you need to strike up some sort of balance of both! If you’re working hard all day long it’s ok to give yourself the grace to relax in the evening. But I GET IT. I am the worst at relaxing and feeling good about it. 😉
It’s so hard. Thanks for the encouragement!
We have 2 smalls, 4 and 1, our evenings are usually spent watching Netflix while my husband works from his laptop and I catch up on email/Internet’s.
There’s little we can do since I still have wake ups to tend to with the youngest. That’ll get better and I’m sure the time we loaf on the couch will be replaced with working on our (very old) house.
Question: linen sheets have been on my dream list for a few years, im wondering how you are enjoying Rejuvenations ? Do they wash nicely?
I’m glad to know our evening events are shared. There’s something oddly therapeutic about watching someone else’s life. We love the sheets! They’re plenty breathable and wash well. They’re naturally wrinkly after a wash, which doesn’t really bother me. But someone told me to iron without steam. I’d only do it to the edge that I fold out. The fitted sheet is on the larger side. It will fit a mattress of any height. I’m also really glad that we went with the grey. They never ever look dirty.
We painted the living room this spring. I have yet to hang a picture in there. I don’t want to mess up my perfect walls! ?
Picture hanging paralysis must be a real thing. I’m glad I’m not alone!
Such a great post – your bedroom Looks gorgeous!
xx. Mirjam // http://www.miiju.ch
My kids are a bit older and I miss having free evenings like this. So my advice would be to enjoy them any way you want because before you know it, your daughter will be staying up later and also homework and sports start taking up those evening hours.
Homework hadn’t even crossed my mind! I always appreciate your perspective and wisdom. Thank you!
that sconce would keep me in bed with my iPad! PS love the way you write 🙂
Thank you ❤️