I’ve written this post before in different words. Around the very same subject—cake. Making cake is a religious experience for me. Why, I’m not exactly sure. But it takes me to a place in my mind that dinner can never touch. It reminds me that we’re more alike than we think. Which is really important when things feel mostly polarized.

We traveled the whole summer long. I think between Kev and I, we’ve seen nearly every extended family member on both sides, twice. We’ve laughed, reminisced, had too many glasses of wine, and argued. Argued about the things that make us different. Like politics and religion. Like poverty, gender, and race. All topics that have the capacity to worse than divide us, to sever. Despite it all, I believe those conversations are deeply important to have, especially in mixed company.

During one of those trips, a trip to Texas, my sister and I made the wedding cakes for my brother’s wedding. It was there, between the tulle, wood-planked walls, and 230 guests that I remembered we are more alike than we think. At least in a room where there’s cake.

“Mirror twins are different
although their features jibe,
and lovers think quite different thoughts
while lying side by side…

I note the obvious differences
between each sort and type,
but we are more alike, my friends,
than we are unalike.”

—Maya Angelou, as seen most recently on the iPhone commercial

They cut the cake, fed each other, and almost as if on cue, everyone flocked across the room towards the cut slices. Their slices. The slices disappeared as fast as people came back to say thank you. People came back. To say thank you, even. We are more alike, my friends, especially between the first and last bite of a good cake. Between the bewitching hours with a newborn. Between the anger and acceptance phase of grieving. Between the aisles of the grocery store and at the gas station pump. We are more alike, my friends, than we are unalike.

This Italian Cream Cake recipe could possibly bring about world peace. Between testing, making it for the wedding, and making it again for the blog, I’ve probably made it 15 times over the summer. I started with Cake Paper Party’s recipe and adapted it for our needs. She did all the hard work on this recipe—like pulling out the shortening and un-separating the eggs. Thank you forever, Summer!

Still, this cake takes a bit of work and a couple of power tools—requiring both a stand mixer and hand mixer. I thought for sure we’d blow a fuse while my sister and I made synchronized cakes, with two stand mixers and hand mixers running at once. The cake gods were on our side. (Speaking of the wedding cakes, I may do a full out post on how we pulled off the cakes if of interest. Long story short, we made a ton of sheet cakes for cutting. We faked the bride’s cake with decorated foam layers and a real top layer for cutting. We never would have been able to pull off a stable Italian Cream wedding cake.)

About this cake—it’s light yet rich with a hint of coconut. But not the over-sweetened coconut of your childhood memory. I’ve removed the nuts because I’ve never cared for the disruption of texture in a delicate bite of cake. I’d much prefer it on the top as a garnish, for easy removal if you wish. The frosting is light yet rich as well. I’ve used the sturdy cream cheese frosting recipe. It pipes and hold romantic swoops. It’s one part miracle. Despite the extra work and tools, this cake is so worth it. In a whole lot of ways, it’s a lot like marriage. And if you know what I’m talking about, we are more alike than you may think.

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Cake recipe adapted from Cake Paper Party.